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Polly Dog Blog 2013

 
Tuesday
1st January
Happy New Year to everyone
My New Year's resolution is to take Boss Woman on more longer walks ~ she is getting fat!

Happy New Year everyone.
Wednesday
2nd January
A stupid squirrel came in our garden this morning, eating the nuts that Boss Woman put out for the birds. I just hope it can run fast ..... Had a lovely walk in the fields today. Met loads of other dogs and people. I had a 15 minute game of chase with a MASSIVE 11 month old Great Dane. Tired me out it did. Boss Woman made me go on lead because it annoyed me so much and wouldn't leave me alone, I tried to kill it, even though it was about a million times bigger than me.
Wednesday
9th January
What a palaver on our walk today. There was a scarecrow looking woman with sticky out hair and she was flapping her arms about like she was going to take off and fly. Apparently she was scared of dogs and the best way, she thought, to scare dogs away, was to jump up and down flapping her arms about, screeching I AM SCARED OF DOGS. Crikey, it worked, OMG she looked just like Worzel Gummidge having a fit. I was terrified! I wasn't scared, I just thought she was a loony
Monday
14th January
Had a great time on our walk in the snow today. I kept jumping up for the snowballs Boss Woman kept pelting me with. I had to keep her amused somehow. We didn't see anyone else out on the walk, whereas we usually see lots of people. It's a shame people have to be so lazy. Just because it is snowing does NOT mean that us dogs like to stay in. Boss Woman has got new dog walking website working now. Good, I like helping her walk other dogs and I get to meet loads of new doggie friends as well.
Thursday
24th January
Went down the snowy fields today with Louis and Coco, our friends the Bichon Frises. We met the famous crinkly black labrador owner in the fields out on a walk with the bully dogs. She is very famous around here for having 2 BIG Black Labradors that attack other dogs. One dog owner was telling my Boss Woman about it attacking her Chocolate Labrador and it needed £200 worth of veterinary treatment for bite wounds and another dog owner was telling Boss Woman about how her dogs knocked him into a tree when he stood in the way as they were trying to attack his dog. What really annoys Boss Woman is that if it was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier that attacked other dogs, the Police would be called and it would make headline news in the local newspaper BUT because it is a couple of black Labradors, no one reports it. When Boss Woman asked the crinkly woman if it was in fact her dogs that had done it and why, she said they only attacked male dogs because it was a 'testerone' thing with entire male dogs. Boss Woman suggested that perhaps she should have their 'nuts' off then. The crinkly woman was most indignant. Well they didn't attack ME as unlike a lot of other dogs, I am no soft touch and I wouldn't hurt a fly BUT I have been attacked by a pitbull and by a Rottweiller, both of which got bitten back, so I am certainly not scared of gormless Black Labradors. They would NOT dare come near me. I absolutely hate Black Labradors and always always chase them away. Fear? Me? Ha Ha
Tuesday
29th January
Went to the vet today for my annual jab. She looked at the lump I have on my chest and said it was on the Lymph node and if it got any bigger or changed in any way, my Boss Woman had to take me back. She complimented me on my nice white teeth.
Thursday
14th February
Not impressed one little bit. The One Show were supposed to come and film me and Boss Woman tomorrow and then they rang up today and said they will not be filming us tomorrow after all. Some poor excuse about logistical problems. Maybe they have been speaking to my old friend Nigel at the Stonehaven Radio Station and are worried in case I cause mayhem with all the wires and stuff. After all, I did get banned from the Radio Station.
Friday
15th February
I was really poorly last night and sicked up some blood. I had a really painful sore tummy and didn't want to eat anything. Boss Woman rang the emergency Vet and they said it sounded like Gastro Entiritis. Mmmm WELL I did eat something nice in the woods yesterday, that I wasn't supposed to ... Anyway, today I did the stinkiest poo you have ever smelled and now I am perfectly fine and even ate Sardines for my tea.
Wednesday
19th February
Boss Woman is sooooo clumsy. I ran up to her with my stick so she could throw it for me (again) and as she bent down, she bumped her head on my stick. it WAS big enough to see! I think she swore.
Tuesday
26th February
Had a lovely walk up through the woods, down some very muddy fields and into Pangbourne. I found another tennis ball (I found one yesterday as well) that some kind doggie friend left for me in the fields and I carried it all the way on the Thames path walk and back home with me. As we were walking through Pangbourne centre, a stupid woman looked at me and my friend Amber with horror and stepped back smartly into a shop doorway out of our way, like she was scared of us. Boss Woman said quietly to her as we walked past "Scared of getting licked to death". It was so muddy, we got covered in sticky mud but then we paddled through the River Pang and got some of it off us.
Tuesday
9th April
A very lot has happened in the last few weeks. Boss Woman went trekking in Nepal (again) and left me a for a whole week with Big Guy. I had to stay in my kennel and run all day while Big Guy was at work which I did NOT like at all AND we have now moved house. I really love my new massive garden. There is so much moss in the garden, it is lovely and soft on my back when I roll on it. Boss Woman isn't too impressed by all the moss, but I love it. There are loads of hidden treasures to find as well. Me and Amber flushed out rabbits, chased red Kites, found an old football, tennis ball and I even found a fossilised bone I was really enjoying chewing on, until Boss Woman took it off me and put in the dustbin. I really like the walks around here as well, especially the walk by the River Thames. Only thing is there are so many people (and other dogs) that our walks are not as peaceful as they were in Scotland and Boss Woman misses that. Also there are some very bad mannered owners (and their dogs). Yesterday ... well ... this really cheeky little Yorkshire Terrier came running up to me to try and pinch my stick. Not only did I see it off with a big growl, but the stick was so big, the little dog could not even have picked it up anyway. Not sure I like it here yet. I keep sitting by the door and wanting to go back to our old house, but everyone ignores me and tells me that I have to stay HERE now. I do like the walks in the woods though but like Polly said, there are far too many people and dogs down here. Our walks are no longer peaceful any more. Boss Woman said she will have to explore a bit more and find us somewhere a bit quieter to go for some nice long walks.
Wednesday
10th April
IF you are going to stand there and look at me disdainfully as I pass you by with a look of disgust on your face, it is best perhaps, not to have the face of an ugly pig. If you looked in the mirror, I would suggest, that the face that looked back at you would fill you with more distaste and terror than me and my friend Amber ever could. :-) Boss Woman was NOT impressed. AND he smelled
Monday
22nd April
Had a lovely walk on by the River Thames today. My friend Amber got a telling off for getting narky with me just because I tried to pinch her stick. Actually it was MY stick anyway that she stole off me half an hour before. A Collie was playing chase with me, then it went up to Amber and tried to mount her. NOT a good idea. She soon sorted it out. There was a woman walking with her little boy, about 18 months old. Me and Amber gave him lots of kisses, which he was laughing at and really enjoyed stroking us. Good result.
Monday
29th April
So there I am, minding my own business having a lovely paddle in the River Thames, when suddenly a MASSIVE Swan came paddling up, all it's feathers fluffed up and hissing like a snake. Yikes! I jumped out of the water quick as a flash and stood facing it (from a respectable distance) and barked at it to let it know that I wasn't scared.
Sunday
19th May
Got back today from a windy and wet week on the Isle of Lewis and Harris. It was FANTASTIC. Beatiful lovely white beaches and turqoise blue sea. I loved going in the sea and running on the sand. Went for some very nice walks in the hills, visited some (boring) stone circles and standing stones and saw a massive wooden mock up of one of the Lewis Chessmen at Uig Sands. Boss Woman was suitably impressed with them, even if I wasn't. We were on the Ferry for 3 hours and we were even allowed to sit in the seating area and didn't have to stay in the car like we do when we go on the Ferry to France. The cottage we stayed in was right next to a sea loch, so me and my friend Amber could go down to the Loch for a pee and poo first thing in the morning.
Monday
20th May
I got an email today, addressed to me personally, wanting me to try out a new pen and notebook that works in the rain. I also got an email about a month ago from a dog food Company that wanted me to try their food. Thing is, last time I tried a free sample of dog food, from the Laughing Dog Company, I didn't like it at all/ We tried it for the first day and then wouldn't eat any more of it. It was so horrible that even my friend Amber wouldn't eat it, so Boss Woman took it for the homeless dogs at the SSPCA, where I am sure they would make use it. You see if I don't like it, I will say so and when Boss Woman told the last dog food Company that asked me to try their food, that if I didn't like it, I would let EVERYONE know about it, they never replied. Just because you send me free samples, does not mean I will say nice things about it. Oh no ....
Wednesday
5th June
Had a lovely walk in the woods today and there I am walking on the path, minding my own business, when suddenly a slow worm just happened to be sunning itself right in front of me. I didn't even see it, in fact I almost tripped over it and unfortunately I stood on it. Good job it wasn't an Adder! Anyway, the slow worm wasn't as slow as I thought it would be and slithered off into the undergrowth about 900 miles per hour, none the worse for having me stand on it. It really ought it watch where it sunbathes next time.
Saturday
8th June
Me and Amber are enjoying ourselves up in Northumberland this weekend with Boss Woman and Big Guy. We spent most of today walking down to Ross Point on Ross Links, while Big Guy was working. Miles of lovely sand and sea for us to run in and we had a great time. I was a bit peckish, so Boss Woman shared her banana with us. Only trouble was, we had to walk through a field of cows to get to the beach and Boss Woman is TERRIFIED of cows. We got through the field safely and onto the beach, but then she was really worried about having to go back the same way. As it turned out when we went back, the cows had wandered off to the other side of the fields and ignored us anyway. Well I wasn't worried, I am sure if I had barked at them, they would have run away. Wouldn't they?-
Monday
10th June
A rather silly man called Jonathan Vernon Smith, who apparently is some sort of radio presenter, has made some very disparaging remarks, on air, regarding Staffordshire Bull Terrier types of dogs. He made a rather disturbing generalisation that ALL Staffies are dangerous and bite the faces off children and that it is always in the media about it and how dangerous we all are. Well, on the rather ignorant basis of HIS thinking, can us Staffies and Staffie X's safely assume, from what is in the media about some T.V. and radio presenters being paedophiles, that ALL T.V. and radio presenters are paedophiles? Honestly, some people will say the most stupid things, just to get ratings on their rather tired boring radio shows. Probably his speciality is attacking defenceless animals, the yellow bellied cowardly bully. Actually he got banned from the radio for making pornographic remarks about a very young girl. Should be sacked.
Tuesday
18th June
Boss Woman thinks me and my friend Amber are getting fat, so today she took us on an 8 mile cycle ride. Well, SHE cycled, we trotted behind. Mmmm not sure I am liking this. Yes, she forgets I just have little legs and have to run faster than Polly to catch up.
Monday
1st July
Been busy all weekend helping Big Guy to rotovate the garden. We have done a good job and now I have to help plant everything out and keep the pigeons from eating everything, by chasing them away ... Consider it done ...
Friday
2nd August
Had a lovely walk on the Thames River path again. It was so nice on my belly to go paddling in the water to cool down. A very nice man gave me and Amber a biscuit. In fact, he was so very nice that every time I asked him for another one, he gave it me. Boss Woman accused him of trying to make me fat and teaching me bad manners. I got into trouble for trying to steal a chuckit ball off 2 collies. LOL The water was so lovely and cool and I had a good splash around. Even though I can't swim like Polly can, I still like the water to go paddling in.
Thursday
8th August
VERY relieved that the MASSIVE evil ginger tom cat wasn't waiting for me today. I went into the undergrowth yesterday just to have a look at the cat and it attacked me and then even had the cheek to follow me out of the shrubbery with it's back all arched, making a nasty horrible threatening noise. Even my friend Amber who will chase ALL black Labradors that come near her, catch and kill rats and is scared of nothing, even she turned away from it and walked the other way. It was MASSIVE and anyway I wasn't scared, I just decided to let it go this time.
Sunday
1st September
5 EGGS, 5 BLOODY EGGS! is what my Boss Woman shouted at me. Look, all I did was to take them from the bowl (SHE left it on the floor behind the patio door) and I ate them all. I eat them all the time, but usually Boss Woman gives me one in a morning when we go and let the hens out. This time, I thought I would just take one out of the bowl, then I took another .... Crikey she was so mad. Even though I followed her around with my ears back, letting her know how sorry I was, she ignored me. I am keeping a low profile now. Better safe than sorry. I hurt my paw on the flint path and so Boss Woman has put me some tea tree ointment on and a baby sock to keep it clean. I feel stupid with a baby sock on and I tried to chew it off but Boss Woman told me off.
Friday
13th September
Had a lovely walk on the Thames path. Unfortunately in the very last field there was a herd of cows and Bosswoman being scared (like terrified) of cows, we had to walk all the way back again, even though we were nearly right at the end of the walk but me and my friend Amber didn't mind at all, we like long walks. Well, it didn't help the fact that Boss Woman was carrying a massive bright pink umbrella. They WERE bound to notice us with her carrying that ...
Sunday
22nd September
I was so very very glad to see Bosswoman back from walking holiday in Italy. She has a funny whispering voice (a lot quieter than usual) and she is looking very sad and sorry for herself. She is telling everyone she has flu, whatever that is. Anyway, she was still fit enough to put up my swing on the pear tree. You know the one that I always played on in the woods until someone pulled it down and threw it away and then I found it in the undergrowth and took it back to Boss Woman? Well that very same one. I missed Boss Woman a lot and keep kissing her all the time to let her know that I was glad she was back. Stupid Polly got carried away with the swing and pulled the wooden cross piece off the rope.
Wednesday
25th September
So, there we are running through the woods, minding our own business, when me and my friend Amber espy a man hiding behind some trees, acting very suspiciously. We ran up to him and barked and growled at him to let him know he had better not start any funny business. Boss Woman marched up to him and asked him in a croaky voice (she has flu ...) just exactly WHAT he was doing lurking in the bushes. The man said he worked for the Forestry Commission and he was there to set and check the traps they had put in the trees for the processionary caterpillars. Apparently these caterpillars are destroying trees. Well, Boss Woman told him that lurking in the bushes was not a good idea and he said that most of the Forestry Commission workers do that all day long. Very odd.
Wednesday
2nd October
Walking through the woods today, there was a naked young guy ran across the path. So ... like the Terriers we are, true to style, anything runs we chase. We chased him down the path. He ran towards his clothes and put them on right quick and last time we saw him, he was stood up and fiddling about with himself down his pants. +++++++Boss Woman is going to get a picture of him next time she sees him (with his clothes on hopefully). He was about 18 years old, skinnyish, wears weird clothes, like one time he was wearing a pair of women's tights over his underpants and another time in the middle of the hot summer he had his hood up and another time he had on a MASSIVE pair of earphones. The cops have been and they are on the case, as half the village is, seeing as Boss Woman told everyone. Another weirdo
Thursday
3rd October
No Bares in the woods today ...
Friday
4th October
Uneventful walk in the woods except for a MASSIVE muzzled German Shepherd that jumped out of the back of a man's car and ran straight across the road to menace me and my friend Amber. My Boss Woman shouted at it and we just ignored it and then the man called it back. Then a stupid moronic young bouncy black labrador came jumping up to me and Amber so of course Amber chased it off, much to the annoyance of it's equally stupid owner. I really do wish people woud keep their dogs under control.
Tuesday
12th November
Just as Boss Woman let the ducks out of the pen this morning, one of them flew straight onto my head. Got muddy duck feet marks on my head now. Good job it didn't land on MY head, I might have swallowed it whole!
Sunday
17th November
Met 2 VERY weird women in the woods today. I kept following them and one of them was getting quite annoyed. They smelt really interesting and they had something in their pocket that I liked the smell of. Boss Woman said they smelt of Cannabis, whatever that is. Boss Woman reckons I would make a good sniffer dog.
Wednesday
20th November
If anyone sees a purple chicken anywhere, can you let my Boss Woman know please? One of the chickens was moulting and it got pecked by the others so Boss Woman sprayed it on some purple wound spray. Trouble is, it must have stung it because it was squawking like mad and I got excited and tried to jump on it and it escaped, ran into next doors field and now it is lost in the long grass somewhere. Think I am in trouble ..... I was only helping.
Thursday
21st November
My BIRTHDAY today, 7 years old I am. I got a new fleecy coat and a new orange collar and lead for my birthday. Going for a long walk by the River Thames in a minute. Happy Birthday Polly x
Friday
29th November
Naughty dog and stupid owner in the woods today. The guy said it was a Staffie x Collie, but it never was, more like a Staffie x fat Labrador. Boss Woman was throwing a stick for Amber and this naughty dog ran up and pinched it out of Boss Woman's hand and when Boss Woman tried to get it back, the dog growled at her. Anyway Boss Woman would have none of it, and twisted and pulled and got the stick back from the jaws of the naughty dog. The guy is going in a weedy voice ... Chloe, Chloe, come here for a treat ..... Someone ought to give the stupid owner a SLAP and teach him how to train his dog properly.
Tuesday
17th November
Mmmmm NOT impressed at all. On our way back from our lovely walk today in the woods, there was a PAID dogwalker going mental with one of the dogs he was walking. The poor fat brown labrador called Annie, was running away from him (don't blame her ...) and he went mental. Boss Woman thought he was going to kick her until he saw us approaching him. Big Bully he was.
Sunday
22nd December
Had a really lovely, very muddy walk this morning.. Boss Woman bought some leeks, parsnips, sprouts and onions from an organic stall in a field on the farm estate. We passed horses, cows and Llamas on the way. The Llamas kept staring at us with their funny tiny faces and sticky up ears. We got very muddy and when we were walking through Pangbourne, most people made an effort to keep their distance when we passed them on the pavement ~ not sure if it was because of the 'type' of dogs we are or because we were caked in mud ... LOL
Thursday
26th December
Merry Christmas everyone and from me too.